Late night thoughts...

I really want to start blogging more, so I went around and took some random pictures. :)
This is one of the reasons we're looking for a house. This is what my scrapbooking stuff looks like when it's not spread out across our bed (you know, so we can sleep). Nice "work" table, huh?




Benjamin sleeping on the couch. He needs his own room so he can start sleeping in it. I've put him in his crib the few times Charlie's stayed the night with my mom. I'm okay with it now, I just feel uncomfortable with him waking her up. So....he sleeps on our floor....on a pile of blankets....for half the night....and the other half in our bed. Judge me if you want. I don't know what else to do!



This is a picture of Charlotte sleeping right now. Hilarious, no? She won't sleep with covers on to save her life. No matter how many times I go in there in the night and put them on her. I especially think it's funny because I can't sleep without blankets, no matter how hot I am.




Playing sidewalk chalk. Her new absolute favorite pastime. From the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed she wants to "play sidewalk chalk". Her phrasing, of course.






Deeper thinking:
I was watching Scrubs with my husband (the sacrifices I make for this marriage :)) and there was this part where Elliot (is that how she spells that? does it matter?) asks the question, "Do you ever look in the mirror and wish you could change every single thing about yourself?" I instantly related to that question. Then I thought, why am I still struggling with the same issues I've been dealing with forever? If I'm the person I say I am in Christ, I can't really be this insecure........right? Just thoughts, no answers.

Goals:
I want to be as efficient as.....my mother.
I want to sew as well as.....my grandma Judi.
I want to knit as awesomely (yes, that's a word) as.....Kara.
I want to use the "pretty things" around me everyday like.....my grandma Kilby.
I want to laugh loudly and at the slightest provocation just like.....Benjamin.
I want to have as much energy as.....Charlotte.
I want to sleep soundly like.....Will.

Goodnight!

P.S. I didn't put those huge gaps in between the paragraphs, and I don't know how to make them go away!

The House

Well, as most of you know, we put in an offer on a house.

It was flatly rejected, no reason given. (Our offer was 10K below the asking price - not unreasonable if they had wanted to negotiate.) Our realtor said that "reading between the lines" he thinks the reason is that we have a VA loan. A VA loan is more work and more strict when it comes to appraisals. The kicker? Today the house showed an asking price of 5K less, so only 5K away from what we offered. It was very sad. I told Will that on a scale of 1 to 10 of sadness, I was probably a 10. :(

However, today is a new day. We're talking the bank to see if we could maybe get a different kind of loan. We're also sticking to our super-strict budget that saves every penny so if we do put another offer in we can give them more earnest money.

I know what you're thinking, why this house? Well, let me tell you! First of all, it's in Windsor. I really, really want to live in Windsor. I like this town, I like the schools, I like a lot about it. Granted, it will be awhile before our kids are in school so we could start somewhere else. However, the market is probably not going to go lower than it is, so I feel like this is our opportunity to get in somewhere where we might not be able to afford to live in the future. Another thing about Windsor is that its relatively close to Will's work. If we lived in Loveland, Ft. Collins, or Severance it would add at least 10 minutes to his commute. Second, it needs a TON of work. Some people may not find that desirable - but I definitely do. It was foreclosed on and is in pretty bad shape cosmetically. I would absolutely love to take a house and make it our own. It will need all new paint, all new floors and new appliances. And that's just the beginning really. I feel like if we buy a different (more expensive more than likely) house that doesn't need any work, we won't do much. Third, it's a great size for us. Five bedrooms and three baths. The yard is a good size too. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect and I know it will be a lot of work and a long time before it's the way we want it. I still want it. It seems unlikely though, I'm sure someone will be along to snatch it up.

Besides the house not much out of the ordinary has been going on with us. The kids keep growing and changing everyday. It's just incredible to watch. Benjamin is seven months old now, sitting up well and trying to scoot across the room. So far, he only goes backwards. :) He really wishes he could walk. He always wants to stand and he just stares after Charlie like she's the luckiest girl in the world. Charlotte had her 3rd birthday since I've posted. She had a Princess Party with Ashlyn (see facebook for pictures). I thought it went really well, she enjoyed it. We're really working on her with listening, so far it's not going so well. :) I think for the most part she's a typical three-year-old. I'm looking forward to taking them outside more as it keeps getting warmer. They both have so much energy. Definitely into sunscreen season here in CO.

Will has started applying for a second job. We talked about it, and he would rather work two jobs then have me look for something outside the home. We were going to use the extra $ to fix up the house faster, but now I suppose we'll just keep paying down our other debt and (of course) start a savings. We could use a second car.

I suppose I better get off of here. The kids need some lunch :)

NE Visit & Coloring Eggs

The last weekend in March (I think) the kids and I went on a spur-of-the-moment trip to Nebraska to visit my dad. It was a lot of fun just to do something without any planning. My mom rented a car so it was a bit interesting having the five of us in an actual car, as opposed to a van or SUV or even truck. On the last day we went bowling before coming home. A few pictures:

Benjamin helping us keep score.

Charlie being bored of bowling. She got tired of it after a few frames...and then of course wanted to join in the second game. :)

This year we dyed eggs at my parents' house because my mom cooked a fabulous Easter dinner on Saturday night. My dad came home and we all had a nice time. Benjamin mostly slept through it all.

Charlie putting salt and pepper on her strawberry. She still ate it.

Benjamin looking at his mama.

Charlie "writing" on her egg. She "writes" a lot these days. It's kind of funny, like squiggly lines.

This egg in particular got a LOT of paint.

Charlie following the trail the Easter Bunny left for her. I never know if I should tell my kids about the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/etc. I feel like it's lying...since they aren't real...I still don't know. I just have kind of done it. Thoughts? (Yes, those are her Christmas pajamas.)

Greg (Will's dad) is coming into town tomorrow. He's coming to see us, of course, but it's also kind of exciting because he'll be here for Charlie's birthday. We're sad Dorothy can't make it this time.

These are my hopes/wishes/prayers for the next few days...

• That Benjamin gets his next FOUR teeth in so we can have our sweet baby boy back instead of the crazy grumpy guy that's replaced him.
• That our room actually gets clean for Greg's visit.
• That the rest of the house stays clean for Greg's visit.
• That the birthday party goes well.
• That I start feeling a bit better and not so down and lonely. (I think the teeth coming in will help this)
• That Charlie behaves like the good girl she is instead of the insane child she can be.
• That the babysitting family that quit on me with no notice will come and pay me my $63.00.
• That I lose 15 lbs.

The last two are equally likely to happen. :) I don't know what happened with the family. I haven't heard from them. It's very disappointing. I put myself out there, I tried to be kind and understanding.....but still have some boundaries and rules. And now here I am, unemployed again and even more wary of trying this again.

Well, this has turned kind of long and a bit rambling...:) Love to you all!