Fits...

While on 'vacation' in Iowa/Nebraska my life this past week has been defined by fits...

Fits of laughter.
I love my family and I love to laugh. I don't know many people who are more funny. Spending time with my aunts/cousins/grandparents/dad...even with my kids/mom/Austin in the car. I laughed a lot this week. The loud, hard kind of laugh that almost hurts but you can't stop.

Fits of crying.
Being around family is hard. Traveling with two small children who need naps and consistent bedtimes is hard. Being away from your husband is hard. Being lied to is hard. Seeing your baby brother graduate high school (yay!) is hard. I carried him around as a newborn. I was literally his "second mother." I'm a crier anyway. :)

Just plain old fits.
Charlotte has recently left the terrible twos....and on to the trying threes. That's what I've heard them called. She has thrown some doozies, way worse than any fit ever before. A few things that comfort me....she has been like this since she was born. Remember me trying to breastfeed her? She would scream and arch her back, just fight me like I was killing her. A lot (if not everyone's) of people's children throw fits at some time in their life. Maybe only once, maybe once a day like Charlie's been doing. I feel so helpless and like a complete failure, so if you witness(ed) a fit......please don't judge. And finally, this is a phase. We will get past this. In the meantime, I'm wondering if days will be good or bad based on whether or not there was a fit. :(

On a side note....Ben still won't crawl "normally" with his head off the ground (no rug burn yet though!). He is standing up on things though, and doing some kind of modified push-up all the time. He has his hands and tip-toes on the ground. Then he shakes his butt. He has also (one time) gone from 'crawling' to sitting up. :)

Pictures later!

Mother's Day

It's just me and Ben on this rainy Mother's day afternoon. Charlie is spending the afternoon with Grammy and Papa. Will's at work. I didn't feel like doing chores....it's Sunday and Mother's day besides....so I decided to update my blog. :)

Benjamin is starting to crawl. It's pretty hilarious, it looks just like this. He has to have his head down on the ground, butt up in the air. He's going to get rug burn on his head if he doesn't figure out a new system soon. He gets up on his hands and knees, but doesn't go anywhere. I think it'll be soon though.

My mom works at Colorado Christian University and she had a graduation reception for her graduates this May. I helped her. :) Don't I look pale next to her? How do you be like Nicole Kidman and make pale cool? (Be like? Is that proper grammar? Do you care?)

Today in his sermon our pastor mentioned something about how it's a mother's job to let her children go....or something to that effect. I've been thinking about that anyway, because one of my new favorite songs (I have like...100 favorite songs) is "It Won't be Like This for Long". For those of you who don't like country and therefore have never heard this song....I'm sorry for you. :) Maybe I'm a little bit extreme, but when I think of my kids growing up and leaving (which is, I know, what they are supposed to do) I feel almost panicked. I told Will when we have our last baby I'm just going to sit and hold them all the time so I don't miss one second. That, of course, won't be possible because I'll have 3 or 5 or 7 other kids to be taking care of at the same time. So I guess this is a goal for me...to work on being ready to let go. Good thing I have about 15ish years. The way Charlotte is, you'd think it wouldn't be that hard. She's extremely comfortable saying goodbye. :(

I think every mom who has more than one child wonders how they will ever love the second baby as much as the first. Or maybe they wonder if the first baby will be overlooked in favor of the new, tiny baby. As someone who has recently experienced this, I have some thoughts. Every time I think about how much I love my children, I'm overwhelmed. They continuously amaze me. Having Ben has only increased my love for Charlie (funny how that works, huh?). When I see her play with him and want to hold him and do things for him....my heart just expands. On the other hand, having Charlie helps me cherish Ben that much more. Seeing how big she is and how fast she got that way makes me make a point of noticing the small, daily changes in an almost 8 month old. This is kind of mushy...but hey, it's Mother's day, I'm allowed, right? I can't wait to have more kids. :)

On the house front....we are going Thursday to look at some new ones. The one in Windsor is under contract. It's sad, but we're moving on. We're so excited to even be in this process. I just can't express how grateful I am to my husband for being such a good provider and how blessed by God I feel!

Benner, Benner, Chicken Dinner

I sort of went crazy making Ben's food today. I've been making his food....since he started eating food....and I really enjoy it. Something about the time it takes, like as I'm standing in the kitchen cutting up...steaming...draining...pureeing...I just think about my kids and how much I love them/want them to be (eat) well. You can think I'm sappy, it's cool. Before today, I would just make a few things at a time but I decided he needed a wider selection. Charlie was asked to spend the night at Grammy's and so...today was the day. I made carrots, broccoli, peas, sweet potato, butternut squash, and for the first time; zucchini, green beans, apples and chicken/sweet potato/apple dinner. I have pears, strawberries, and more apples to make tomorrow. :)

So...today was the first day Ben tried chicken. He's had turkey from a jar, but this I made. I might just stick to the jars for meat, we'll see.

Anticipation of a meal.
I know exactly what he's saying (mother's intuition). "Dad! This is disgusting! You know I don't eat my food cold!"

After it was warmed, he did decide he liked it.

May Day

We went swimming today with some friends from church. The kids really loved it and it was fun to get all of the swimming gear out even though it's not quite summer. I think we'll definitely go again, and maybe Will will be able to join us and I can get some pictures of the kids actually swimming. As it is, I have before and after pictures.

Ben's trunks were so long, it was funny. They were like little swimming pants. He seemed to love the water, and he really liked splashing. After a semi-rocky beginning, Charlie was really comfortable in the water. I think I will try to get both of them in lessons for the summer. Swimming is just so good for you, I'd like it to be like second nature for them someday.

We also went to the Twins Sale. I wasn't planning on getting anything....but then I got there :) I found Ben some barely used Robeez for next winter (which is exciting - he'll probably be walking in them!). Charlie got a raincoat for $1.00! And I got two books. I didn't even really look at the kids' clothes, people were just so pushy and it was crowded.

People always speculate about what they would do if they were really wealthy. I know what I would do (besides be living in our own house). I would buy things for people. I would buy cards and gifts for every little holiday. For example, May Day. Wouldn't it be so fun to make up little baskets and give them out to the people you love? You know that book, The Five Love Languages? I read it a long time ago, but I totally fit in the category that says you love people by giving them things. Or however it may be worded.

I can't believe it's May already. It's already time to start freaking out about VBS. Funny how time flies.